Endings and Beginnings

Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So, when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will. --Birdee Pruitt (Sandra Bullock) Hope Floats

The ironic thing about this statement is that oftentimes you must encounter the beginnings and the endings at the same time, and for people like me, that can turn into a pretty emotional predicament.

For the past hour and a half, I have been laying in bed trying to fall asleep, but my thoughts won't allow me to stop crying. Every time I think I'm done, I look at my kids' doors or think of any of a million different memories that are running through my head and the waterworks start again. I wouldn't consider myself an overly emotional person, but when it hits me, it hits hard!

You see, tonight is our last night to spend the night in our home. Tomorrow we will load our furniture into a U-haul and drive a few miles away to unload, and tomorrow we will spend our first night in our rental house. I wasn't expecting to be so overcome with emotion and memories, but I can't stop thinking about all the things over the last 4 years that have helped to shape our family into who we are today. When we moved into this house almost four years ago, Jordan was only 4 months old. Lawson had just turned 2. With the privilege of staying home with them, I have had the joy of seeing every growth and change they have experienced.

Jordan ate her first food here and said her first words here and took her first steps here. Lawson 'helped' his daddy and me as we stripped wallpaper and knocked out walls. We have changed almost every square inch of wall in this house. We've done papers at this house. We've oooh'ed and aaahh'ed at our Christmas decorations. We've read countless stories and played countless games. We've danced to the iPod and sung silly songs. We've played in the yard and raked billions of pine needles. We've learned letters and numbers and colors and shapes. Lawson started Kindergarten and is learning how to read.

Pretty much, what any family does in their home, I guess--nothing special. And the reason we're moving is an exciting one. We're only going to be in this rental house for a few months because it is our transition home before we move to Honduras next year. Our whole family is excited about that.

Tonight, though, I find myself torn between the emotions that Birdee expressed in Hope Floats. Tonight, I am sad that our wonderful time of making memories in this house will end. I am sad because I feel like we are leaving our home. Tonight I am also scared. Tomorrow is scary because it is our first permanent change that shows we have committed our family to service in the mission field. In my mind, this is the beginning of our transition to the new place that will become our family's home. Very soon, I trust that my excitement will return. for right now though, I will allow myself to just feel the reality that we have put ourselves into a situation that is perhaps a bit uncertain. And I realize that uncertainty is sometimes just a little bit scary.

The best part of this, though, is that part about hope. God gave us our emotions, and feeling them is a good, natural thing. He also gave us something else, though, that allows our souls to remain centered and stable and at peace no matter what our mind may be thinking at any given moment. I may be feeling a little bit sad, but my God has given me a joy that can overcome any sadness. He gave me a power than can overcome any fear. He gave me a peace that can withstand any storm.

It's okay to spend some time looking back and reflecting, but I also must boldly move forward, in faith, to the new places he is sending us. I'm ready. Let's do this.


A walk down memory lane...

Stripping wallpaper-December 2006Jordan helping Mommy cook in the new house--Feb 2007 Lawson and Jordan--Christmas 2006
Growing right up--May 2007
"At the office"--October 2008
My, how they've grown! --October 2010
Last night in the place we've called home for the past 4 years--November 5, 2010

Sweet dreams babies!

Jack-O-Lanterns 2010

Saturday night we carved our jack-o-lanterns so we could make our front porch more festive!
Gross!!!
The kids cleaned out most of the goop, but Jon and I helped some. Then we spent forever google-ing images that the kids would like for their faces. Lawson wanted a scary face. Jordan wanted a 'pretty' face. Do you know how hard it is to find a jack-o-lantern face that is pretty?

Well, we brought them out to the front yard and made them close their eyes while Jon lit them...
And here they are...
Those are some pretty proud kiddos!

My Best Friend's Wedding

I was so excited to be able to travel to Michigan at a time that coincided with my friend Joann's wedding! All through high school Joann and I were best friends. We hung out all the time, and even after I moved away I always made it a point to swing by her house and catch up. Until Facebook came along, she was the only high school friend I had kept up with at all.
We have so many funny stories and shared memories. One of the ones that Jon thinks is so funny is one I told him about when she and I had gone on a bike ride. Up north, every road has sidewalks, and this particular day I was in front. I was going pretty fast, and before I ever had the chance to stop, slow down or turn, I noticed that the utility company had broken out one square of the sidewalk (I guess to work on a pipe). Well, the hole they left was just the size of my front wheel, so my front wheel sunk right into that hole, lodged itself, and the rest of my bike (and subseuently, me) saw fit to continue moving in an arch over said lodged front wheel. The final picture was me on the sidewalk with my bike laying on top of me, with Joann (who had seen the whole ordeal) running up yelling, "Stac! Stac! Stac! Are you okay?" She was genuinely concerned about me...but as soon as I told her that I was okay she BURST out laughing and said, "Thank goodness!! That looked awful, but it was SOOOOO funny!!!"

Another memory is when we went to eat dinner at a restaurant/bar called Roger's Roost. We went into the bathroom at the end of our meal. In the bathroom there was a huge (6-foot-ish) Indian statue with a loin cloth over his 'stuff'. There was a sign that said "Do not, under any circumstances, look under this cloth." Well, of course my friends dared me to lift the cloth. Just because. And because I was young and immature and didn't like to turn down a dare, I looked. I figured, "Who would ever even know?" Well, the second I lifted the cloth, I didn't even think to look to see what was under there because sirens started blaring and red strobe lights started flashing. I panicked and ran out of the bathroom. As soon as I stepped out a manager started approaching me, so I turned and ran out of the restaurant and the manger chased me out to the parking lot. My friends were dying laughing and I thought for sure that I was in some big trouble...but the manager just said, "Ma'am, I just wanted to give you this..." I looked down and he handed me a pin-on button that said 'Peek-a-boo Club'.

So many memories!

I truly have been blessed by having her as a friend. I am so thankful I was able to see her get married and start the next stage in her life.

Joann is such a kind-hearted person. She is genuine and loving. She loves her family more than anything, and is so loyal to them. I always loved visiting her, and I love her parents too.

Her dad scared me a lot at first, but eventually he grew to love me and soon whenever I came by his face brightened up and he spread his arms for a big hug. Being Italy-born, he would proclaim with a thick Italian accent, "Ohhhh EhhStacy!! Joannnna will beeee sooo glaaaad to seeee youuuu!!" Then I would go in and Joann's mom would go downstairs to the extra freezer to bring up some of the home-made anise-flavored freezer cookies that I love. Such fond memories they helped make for me!
Jason and Joann at their reception
Me and my sweetie at the reception
It was a wonderful evening and Jon and I really enjoyed ourselves while we celebrated with Joann and her family!

Blast from the past

This may be one of the coolest stories of my life. Well, there have been a few more exciting things, but seriously, I just love this!!

There's going to have to be some background information for this to appear as cool as it is, so here goes. Growing up, my family lived in the same yard all of my life. Our first house burned down when I was in 3rd grade, but we build another house in the same yard. I lived there until I went away to college. My parents, then just my mom lived there until a couple summers ago when they sold it during my parents' divorce. It was kind of sad to not have that house to come 'home' to, especially after growing up on the block--knowing the neighbors, being familiar with the area, etc. Well, that next fall my brother ended up buying the house that was next door to our old house. Is that crazy or what? Not many people buy the house next door to the house they grew up in, do they?

Now, on to the next part of the story. One year our school did a time capsule where we put special things away and sealed it for future generations to open and see what we thought was important at that time. My brother and I thought that was pretty cool, so we came home and decided to make our own time capsule. That's nothing spectacular--tons of kids make time capsules, I suppose. It was interesting, though, that we didn't bury the time capsule in our own back yard. Nope. We buried it in our next door neighbor's yard.

The yard my brother now owns.

Is that not crazy?

Well, the kids and I drove up to Michigan this week planning on attending my dad's wedding, as well as my high school best friend's wedding. My brother, Eric, and I were talking one afternoon about our time capsule and telling Jon, my dad, stepmom, stepsister and aunt about it and my dad chimes in that he has a metal detector--did we want to try to find it?

Well, yes, yes we did! I was almost giddy with excitement...

My brother with the metal detector. We both thought we had put it right by that brick wall. (The other side of that chain link fence is the yard that belongs to the house we grew up in.)
Beep beep beep beep beep!!! Right where we thought it was!!!Trying to get it open...we both remembered that we had put it in an old lunch box, and had wrapped up every thing in foil and plastic. Too bad we didn't realize how rusty and gross and deteriorated that would cause our time capsule to become!
How exciting!
A little clay clown that I had made in art class...
We couldn't remember what kind of lunch box we had used, but luckily there was just enough paint left that we could see. When we first saw the colors and rainbows we thought it was Rainbow Brite, or My Little Pony, but the winner was....Care Bears!
Close up of a few of the things we had put in--we think it must have been 1990 because of the Nintendo World Championship guide! So funny that my brother put that in there! He also put the Madball, the motorcycle and the deck of cards in.
Here is the whole loot--the big foil on the top left and the paper near it was a class picture but it was hard to see who was on it or what year it was...Also included was a bouncy ball, a coin, a school picture of Eric's best friend, a plastic doll fork and, because I've apparently always been an uber-nerd, I also included a math test on which I had received 100%. I know. Poke fun, I can take it! :)
I mean, how many people make a time capsule? On top of that, how many remember they made a time capsule, and remember where they put it? Even more, how many have access to the place where they buried it and actually go back to find it? Twenty years later?

I'm telling you. That's a cool story!

We finally did what everyone else was doing...

Since we moved here, all I hear about every fall is how all our friends are going to Tate Farms and how many times a year they go and how many years in a row they've gone. Well, up until this year, we had never been.

Last year, our home school program had a field trip scheduled, but we were rained out 3 different times, then they didn't have any more dates to postpone us to. I was sad that I thought we'd get to go but ended up not going. This year we had another field trip scheduled, we decided to finally go and we had a great morning! The weather was beautiful and the kids had a wonderful time!

Cotton-pickin' kids!

Jordan and her cute little pumpkin she found herself!
Lawson picked a huge pumpkin he could barely carry.
Corn crib
The big slide
Sweet girl
Climbing the tire mountain
How tall this fall?
Best I could get...
We had such a wonderful day at the pumpkin patch, then we jumped right in the car and drove to Michigan to spend some time visiting friends and family. It's a busy fall, but we wouldn't have it any other way! :)

Jordan's Nail

When we first moved into our house, we painted Jordan's room to match her crib bedding then I painted a sign that matched and glued wooden letters on to spell her name. It hung over her crib, and then later over her big bed, even though it didn't match anymore. One day I walked in to find that she had stood up, taken the sign off the nail, then pulled each letter off the canvas backing. I put the sign up in her closet, and for some reason I left the nail in the wall, not thinking anymore about it.Well, over the last couple years, Jordan has caused Jon and me to laugh so many times by the things she's hung on her nail 'just for a little decoration'. We have walked in to find pictures she's drawn and letters she's written stabbed on the nail, and a stuffed bear hung by it's ribbon collar. I thought I had more pictures of them, but just can't find any more...The one picture I do have, though, is probably of our favorite 'decoration':
I really need to paint that girl another sign! :)

Ahoy Matey!

A friend of ours invited us on a field trip to see replicas of the Nina and Pinta that had sailed up to Ditto Landing, just south of town. It was beautiful weather and we had a great time seeing the ships, picnicking and playing with friends at a nearby playground. Here are a couple shots of the kids by the ships--in one of them they are being pirates.

Later that afternoon, all Lawson wanted to do was use the map I had bought him as a souvenir and be a pirate looking for treasure. Love how their imaginations keep them busy! :)

Skater Boy

For Lawson's 4th birthday he asked for roller skates because he saw Curious George go roller skating on TV. We got him some RollerBlades because I found them on a great deal at an after-Thanksgiving sale with Jamey.

I love that they are adjustable and actually last for about 4 whole shoe sizes! That works out great because it turns out that he was really kind of small to use them back then, and since then he has gone in waves of wanting to put them on and skate around the house. He's always had pretty good balance on them, but he's been a little timid about pushing off to gain some speed and actually roll. Plus, they should still fit him for another 2 sizes!

This past week he has really been persistent in wanting to put his blades on and practice around the house, and Saturday afternoon after it quit raining I asked him if he wanted to try to skate on the driveway. He did, and we went out and he ended up skating for about an hour and 45 minutes! At first, I put on the old roller blades I had and showed him how to push off and get some speed, and after that he was on a mission to keep trying harder and harder!

Lawson, Jordan and I ended up going down our street and across the way to where the neighborhood's old tennis courts are, and had a cars-free place to practice. Jordan was on her bike, Lawson on his skates, and I was walking.

He's got a way to go, but for his first night of blading outside, I think he did GREAT!!

(By the way, he has on his Michigan t-shirt, blue athletic shorts, and his black soccer socks pulled all the way up...It's not tights!! :) He put the tall socks on so he wouldn't get blisters, and it ended up padding his knees and legs when he fell!)
The video's a little dark, but the sun was just about gone! And, he took a minor spill there at the very end, but I am proud of how hard he's trying and how he just gets up and goes again after he falls!

Just another sign that he's getting bigger by the minute!

Made-Up

My mom got Jordan some play make-up for her birthday last month, and she LOVES getting it out and getting made up! The other day I guess she thought that the glittery, transparent gel for eyes and cheeks wasn't dark enough, because she spread the darker lipstick across both eyelids and the bridge of her nose! Then she dressed up in her Tinkerbell dress. Jon and I cracked up, but she was so proud of putting on her make-up, and we weren't going anywhere so we just let her be! She definitely has her own personality!!
To top it all off, when we went outside so Lawson could RollerBlade, she changed into her Sleeping Beauty dress and rode the streets glammed out--pretty in pink and on the princess bike, no less! :)

Not quite how I pictured it...

This first picture was taken several weeks ago with my low-quality phone camera, so excuse the blurriness...but I just had to snap a shot!

When Jordan got this Dora castle and Lawson got his Bat Cave for Christmas last year, I wasn't sure if they would play with them very much. It turns out that they love to play with them, but it isn't quite how I pictured it would be!

I have walked in on this scene several times: They usually put both the castle and the Bat Cave down in the floor, then they proceed to attack the Dora castle with snakes and dinosaurs and spiders--all of Lawson's creepy, crawly stuff. Then, across the way, all of the Barbies get held hostage and locked up in the Bat Cave!! The other day I was helping them clean up the playroom and when I picked up the Bat Cave 4 Barbies fell out to the floor! I couldn't believe it!

Then, this morning, I went into the playroom and saw the following scene. Keep in mind, our Barbies have a couple different white and pink, very girly, princess-ey horses that they can choose from for their mode of transportation. But this particular Saturday morning, Belle must have wanted to take a walk on the wild side...


Like I said, I never really pictured this before! Well, at least they have good imaginations!

Little Mama

The other day I walked in and saw Jordan sitting on our time-out chair reading on of her library books to her baby doll. It was so sweet I snapped a couple pics. She was making it up as she went along by looking at the pictures.
She didn't know I was there, so I took a little video. I was on the stairs, reaching my arm way over and she didn't see me until about a minute in when she looked up and saw the camera sticking out of the banister. She looks right at it, smiles at the camera, then keeps on going. I think it's just precious. One day I will be so glad I have this memory of my sweet little girl.

Flying High

The kids have always begged to do the "jumpy things" at the mall, and I have always told them that we didn't have any extra money to do that. This weekend, after we had our yard sale I was excited because I thought it would be fun for them if we spent a little bit of the money we made letting them do this special treat.

When we told them, they were SO excited! As soon as they started jumping and realizing how high they were going they started to squeal and laugh! It was hilarious! I think it was borderline exciting/scary and it was tickling their stomachs. I am so glad we got to give them his experience.